We have just about hit our 7 year wedding anniversary, unfortunately I was not aware of this so called itch. Well, Monday I experienced it first hand. I sat my husband down and talked to him to tell him that I was unhappy and questioning our marriage. It broke his heart and mine to see his reaction. I couldn't tell him why or what I was wanting but just that I was unhappy.
We sat and talked for a long time to figure things out. I talked to my brother and another sister in our ward and found out it wasn't really me. EVERYONE goes through it. Today, we are doing great! We took a trip on Saturday to Nashville, TN with just the two of us. It was. Ice to just rekindle the "us" in our relationship.
This last year has been tough and has just taken a toll on us. Michael was so busy with teaching full time, going to school full time for his masters, and being the ward mission leader, that Aaron and I have not seen much of him. We never went to bed together because he had to do his homework and lesson planning and was awake before me to go to work.
Today we are in NC visiting with my brother and his beautiful family til Saturday when we go to a wedding here as well. I am so excited because my brother and his beautiful wife of 15 years went through this same thing. They are such a great example of a wonderful marriage. I am happy to say also that the feeling of wanting out of my marriage is gone.
I love my husband so much and love that after this little ordeal we are both working harder at our marriage. We are going to bed together and trying to make sure we have us time. Here's to another 7 years of marriage and many many more after that!
Aaron and I have a lot of time together now that we are in Memphis. We get to go to the park, the children's museum, and to play with other kiddos. Aaron has made a special friend with an older redhead who loves him to pieces!!! She has also become a good friend of mine too.
It's been seven months. It's was not supposed to take this long. I feel like there is a part of my heart that is just breaking. How can this not be happening? Why is this not happening? How much longer am I going to have to deal with this heart ache and longing before I can say "yes I am pregnant with my second child. We couldn't be happier" instead every month I wait in anticipation and cry when I see that it was not going to be that month. Is it really going to take up to a year for me to get pregnant after that birth control? Am I going to be able to have another one at all? Or is my first kid going to be way older then my next?
Every month it frustrates me even more cause I see my sister and other teenagers, and others that didn't want to get prego or shouldn't be getting pregnant, and they get pregnant on a one night stand and they have the very thing I want and am trying for. It is so hard to see that and not just want to scream at the top of my lungs with the pain that is filling my heart more and more each month.
Sometimes, it is so hard to hold on to faith when you are praying for something with all your heart and Heavenly Father is just making you wait. He has his reasons and I am sure it will make since when the time comes but for now I can help but pour my heart out and cry to him every month with one simple question. Why? Why not now? What is going one now or coming up that I can't be pregnant for or have a baby for? I just want answers. But for now I will just continue to ask why? And have faith in my Heavenly Father that he knows what he is doing, but I am still probably going to cry for a while with my monthly disappointment.
Recently I signed up for the chance to sell Mary Kay! I have already earned my beautiful pink ice ring and had the chance to make so many great friends that I have so much in common with!!! I even got to do my first before and after make over with my friend Sarah. I am having so much fun so far.
Where do I begin....My little family has had so much thrown at them, it is hard to remember and keep track of everything. I have gone from making the best friend I could ever ask for from Heavenly Father to a HUGE move. So let start out with the friend.
Ashley Davenport must have been my ultimate best friend in the pre-exsistance. We met about a month ago at church. She had just moved in and was in the hallway with her beautiful little girl Cordelia or as we call or Cordy. Of course with my son I am ALWAYS in the hallway. Ashley, you could tell is not your typical LDS lady. She didn't grow up in the church, but did find it later in life after a fun and adventurous path, and is now a Great member with an unbelievable testimony of the gospel. As most people know, I am not typical either. We introduced ourselves and found that we have soooooooo much in common and that we should have totally have been twins. She is the friend I have always been looking for. She is just the cutest most loving, and quirky person ever. I love it! Well, of course I knew it had to be too good to be true. Two weeks later Michael gets offered a position as a chinese teacher in MEMPHIS TN!!!!!! Go figure I met someone amazing that I could actually do girl time with, like really girly girl stuff with, and we have to move in 1 week. I was going to be moving away from the best friend I never got. We both cried about it. We did however get to sneak only 1 girl time in there. I introduced her to Charming Charlies! LOVE THAT STORE! Had lunch then went home.
Did I mention that we had to move in 1 week. That was crazy! In that 1 week Mike and I both gave our jobs a 1 day notice to quit and said our good-byes to our fresno jobs and lives. We rushed around packing all of our stuff, contacting movers, trying to find an apartment, and getting in contact with the bishop in Memphis to see what we were in for. Well, we didn't find an apartment, so booked a hotel instead until we could find a hotel. Well, Monday, July 30, 2012 was the big day. We packed our car full, gave big hugs and kisses to our family members, and drove... and drove... and drove. We drove for 3 days to get to Memphis. We did stop for a while and stayed the night with my mom in Oklahoma. I was so nice to see her. Anyways, we got to Memphis, found his school and found that is was farther from where we planned to live then we thought. Good thing we didn't get an apartment.
So we found the perfect apartment for us. it is a 2x2 and sooooo cute and big. The Bishop we thought we would get that had helped us out so much had us over for dinner after we went to church with him and his wife. They were such a great couple. We are blessed to have had so much help from them.
This last Sunday we did get to go to our new and for sure ward and everyone was so friendly. Well, the older ones. The people our age, didn't even come up to us to say hi or anything. It was weird. Oh well. We are so excited to be apart of this ward and to meet and get to know them all. They have been so friendly and have already given us dinner invites and yummy treats. We won't even get me started on this moving company. HORRIBLE first experience with movers. We are not even recieving all of our stuff. 1/3 of our stuff is still in Fresno. Horrible. It does look like we might get it this weekend. YEAH!!!! Then I will finally have something to do other then go crazy in a house with just me and a two year old.
Well, wish us luck on this new journey through life.
After 6 long years of working full time, I am now a stay at home mom. We live in Memphis, TN as of August 2012. We are so excited about this adventure. Our little man is just over two, and is getting bigger and bigger. All of a sudden he did start talking as plan as day. He amazes me everyday with what he knows. He is so smart. My husband is now into his career as a Chinese Teacher for an elementary school in the Memphis City School District. This is such a great opportunity for our family that came up about 1 week before we have to be here in Memphis from CA.